Last Chance or None
by Pulpgeek
Summary: A late night phone call between Buffy and Cordelia


Title: Last Chance or None

Author: Pulpgeek

E-mail: pulpgeek@hotmail.com

Rating: Say PG-14 same as the show

Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me. They belong to Joss Whedon and some suits. If they belonged to me all the cute and funny stuff would not be only happening over on Angel.

Category: B/X, A/C

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"Take that. And that. And another one."

Cordelia Chase was venting. Violently. With a large hammer. The target of her wrath was an old man in gypsy garb. Or at least what Cordelia thought gypsy garb looked like.

"What sort of an idiot puts an escape clause in a curse? What the hell were you thinking? He gets happy and he turns back into a murdering monster. You thought that was a good idea? YouMORON!"

This was a dream obviously. Cordelia figured that part out right away. The ACME' logo on the hammer and the way the gypsy resembled on old grade school teacher kind of tipped her off. She didn't care, this felt good. Normally her dreams were full of visions, premonitions and other serious crap. For one brief moment she planned to enjoy smacking around the root cause of her recent depression.

"You are going down old man, get ready to fe"

The insufferable ringing of the phone yanked her back to reality. Cordelia was not a happy woman as she reached for the infernal contraption. Someone was about to loose the capacity for reproduction.

"Make it good."

"Cordelia?"

"Buffy? It's three in the morning Buffy why the hell are you calling me at three in the morning? Or even two in the morning for that matter. Don't Slayers believe in sleep?"

"S-Sorry Cordelia. I-It's just I need to talk to you now. I don't think I'll hold on until morning."

She'd been crying, Cordelia recognized the hitch in Buffy's voice. She sighed and pushed down the irritation that was threatening to boil up. Dealing with the emotional screwed up at odd hours was something of a job skill for her.

"All right Buffy, you have my attention. Talk."

"It's about Xander."

God. No.

"What happed to him?"

"Nothing happened, it's not like that. Xander's fine. It's thatwell, you know he's getting married right? To Anya."

"He mentioned the engagement in his last letter. Kind of a rush job I think but if it makes them happy go for it."

"I don't think I want him to marry her"

"Given your history Buffy I don't think you have any right to criticize Xander's choice in women. She's a bit odd but her heart is in the right place."

"It's not about Anya."

"Then what?" Crap. It couldn't be. The universe may have a sick sense of humor but this was a bit much. No way could Buffy be thinking about him now.

"Buffy, if you say it's because you're in love with him I'm hanging up right now."

"I don't think it's love but, well it might be. Maybe. I think."

"Right. Hanging up now. Bye Buffy."

"Cordelia, please. I need to talk about this."

"Putting aside the utter insanity of you wanting Xander why in the world do you feel the need to burden me with this knowledge. At three in the morning no less. Some of us work day jobs you know."

"You're the only person I could think of who might understand what I going through and it's less than a week before the wedding and I'm sort of panicking. That all right with you?"

"Breathe Buffy. All right, I am now shifting to non-judgmental mode. You can get to the part about your weird need to involve me later. First off, what exactly is this about Xander?"

"I don't know how it started it's just the closer we get to the wedding the more I wig out. I'm looking at one of my best friends and wondering why I never thought of him as a guy before. He's just what I need. Someone who is caring, loyal, reliable and isn't bothered by all this Slayer garbage. Xander may be the one but in six days he is marrying someone else."

Be sympathetic. Resist urge to crawl down the phone life and wring her neck.

"You couldn't have realized this during one of the many years he was worshiping the ground you walk on?"

"I know my timing sucks. I'm an idiot ok? But I can't just let him go!"

"He's one of your oldest friends and he is finally building a life that does not revolve around you and creatures of the night. Have you considered you're just reacting to the idea of him maybe not being around as much anymore?"

"No. No, it is not that. I've spent the last week bashing my head into a wall trying to make sense of how I'm feeling. I still don't understand it but I have figured one thing out. I need him in my life."

Still the selfish bitch isn't she?

"Need isn't love Buffy. If you're looking for something to patch up your excuse for a life don't use my friend as raw materials."

"Raw materials?"

"What do you want? It is to damn late for me to care about cute comebacks."

"Maybe it is need, when I'm with him I'm more me. Less Slayer, more Buffy Summers. I feel safe, relaxed. Do you know how little I feel like that anymore? Try never. Except when I'm near him."

"Again with the not love Buffy. That is him loving you, not you loving him."

"He loves me?"

People used to think I was self-absorbed. Ha, bow to the new queen.

"You've been carrying his heart around in your back pocket since high school. I don't think that boy will ever get over you. So yes, throw yourself at him and he'll dump his fiancée for you. That what you want to hear Buffy?"

"Damn it Cordelia, I know we were not that close but why the hell are you so angry with me all of a sudden?"

Because it's late, I haven't slept well in days and I don't have the energy to fake it.

"I've only loved two men in my life Buffy, you screwed me on both of them."

"How did I take Xander from you? You dumped him after he kissed Willow."

"Please. I knew the whole Willow thing was coming. He was bound to get a clue eventually. I always figured they would work out the whole long repressed lust thing in a closet somewhere. I dumped him because while I sat in that hospital bed it became harder and harder to deny that he never wanted me. It was always you he was kissing."

"That's not fair Cordelia, ok maybe he had a crush but I never led him on."

"Right. You just kept him around to say how pretty you are, stroke your ego, be the perpetual fallback guy when the ones you want aren't available."

"This isn't really about Xander is it?"

Not as dumb as she looks folks.

"Yes it is. He may have stomped on my heart but that doesn't mean I want to let him be the next sacrifice on your alter of need!"

"It's Angel. You love him." A soft voice, disbelieving.

Ouch. Score one for Buffy. Cordelia ran her fingers over her throbbing temples. She could feel the headache coming on. At least she was well stocked with painkillers. Right now she should hang up the phone and have a drink. Wait. No alcohol in the house. Damn.

"Cordelia?"

"I'm still here Buffy. You're right about Angel. I do love him, I think he loves me to but he'll never touch me. Not after what happened with you."

"You have any idea how long I've carried around guilt for what happened with Angel? Don't try and drop that crap at my door, it was not my fault!"

"I know that but you'll understand if I still have a massive amount of anger. You had him, you kissed and touched and made love to him and I can't. He lives in so much fear that I can't even get a single stupid kiss. You have any idea how much that hurts?"

Cordelia could feel her eyes getting moist. No, bad sign. She didn't cry over Angel. This would be a poor time to start.

"Are you sure that hefeels that way?"

Be mature. Put bitch-Cordy back in her cage. Pretend you're both adults.

"Ya, I'm sure. We go to great lengths not to talk about it but we both want something more than friendship. Lots of little touches that last a second to long or lingering glances. It would be romantic as all hell if I thought we'd ever get to first base."

"Damn. Ok, I give. Your life sucks worse than mine."

Just a little bit of laughter but it breaks some of the tension.

"Thanks, I think. Sorry for coming down on you so hard but Xander is one of the few people I know in a happy relationship. I don't want to see him lose that."

"I don't ether Cordelia. Anya is a nice girl, she deserves better than to lose her man to a neurotic basket case. I can't ignore this feeling though that I've had true love staring me in the face for years and never realized it. If I don't at least try I may end up regretting it the rest of my life."

Say something deep Cordy, at lest try and be supportive. Who knows, she might actually be right about this.

"Be sure Buffy. If you take him away from Anya you had better be damn sure. He wouldn't be able to take being one of your mistakes."

"I don't want to hurt him. Am I just being a selfish bitch?"

"If this is real then tell him. I hope it works for you two, I honestly do."

"Thanks Cordelia."

"Break his heart though and I'll kick your ass."

A little forced laughter and some strained good-bye's latter Buffy hung up.

Cordelia stood next to phone for quite some time contemplating a call. She should probably call Xander right now. Tell him to grab Anya and elope. Get out of Sunnydale and far away from the black hole of need than is Buffy Summers. Maybe it would work though, or maybe she just had a weakness for doomed love. For whatever reason Cordelia never made the call.

She was awake though and with weather like this getting back to sleep was probably not an option. Settling in on the couch Cordelia flicked on the set and let the banality of late night television numb her brain. Within five minutes she had drifted off. In her dreams he wore white and held her close under the bright California sun.

-Fin-


End file.
